I wanted to be the mom, the woman, who could do it all.
But, frankly, in this season of my life, I don't think I can.
I feel like God is steering me in a different direction, and that direction is, away from this blog.
At least, for now.
I have LOVED doing this blog, for more than a year, now, but, it was starting to consume me. It was taking up a lot of time, energy and thoughts, more than I ever thought it would. I have stayed up late thinking about it and writing, I have lost sleep over what my next entry will be, I have felt the burden of taking great pictures and providing good content, I have felt desperation to get something up, just so it doesn't sit bare for long. I have wanted to bring good, relevant, helpful and thought-provoking content, but, through all of that, it has brought on a lot of un-needed stress. Maybe it shouldn't have, but it has. Instead of it being fun for me, which is what it started out as being, it has become a burden. I feel like other areas of my life have been left unattended. It's amazing how a blog can have this effect on me. Or, maybe I have allowed it to become what it has become. Whatever the reason, it is what I have let it be, and I have to put it aside for awhile.
I would never say that I have it harder than any other mom. I know that many have it much "worse" off than I do. But, I have three young children who need me and depend on me; I have a home that I need to keep clean and orderly; I have a massive, daunting yard that needs enormous amounts of attention; I'm working two part-time jobs and have started back in on my Ebay business; I have a husband who needs more of my undivided attention; I have a special needs daughter who requires more from me than I can sometimes give her. There are all the trips back and forth to school, the play dates, the potty-training, the diapering, the disciplining, the cooking, the baking, the training, the playing, the cleaning, the comforting, the, the, the...........Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job in the world, and even though I love it, it can be a struggle.
It was becoming an even bigger struggle as my focus was being taken over by this blog.
I question the timing of this decision, because I now have this new home for my blog, new followers, etc, but I have to rely on the promise that God's timing is perfect. He put this on my heart for a reason and I can't pretend like it's not real.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
Hopefully there will be a time when I come back to this blog, to continue on this amazing journey of sharing, learning, growing and cataloging life events. But, until then, I must take some time off. How long? I don't know..............only God does.
Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him.”
Lamentations 3: 22-24
Thank you for taking this journey with me and I hope and pray, that, someday, I will see you back here, again. But, until then, keep on living life fully, frugally and faithfully.
God Bless~~~
Sarah