Thursday, April 29, 2010

A time for everything

I wanted to be the mom, the woman, who could do it all.

But, frankly, in this season of my life, I don't think I can.

I feel like God is steering me in a different direction, and that direction is, away from this blog.

At least, for now.
I have LOVED doing this blog, for more than a year, now, but, it was starting to consume me.  It was taking up a lot of time, energy and thoughts, more than I ever thought it would.  I have stayed up late thinking about it and writing, I have lost sleep over what my next entry will be,  I have felt the burden of taking great pictures and providing good content, I have felt desperation to get something up, just so it doesn't sit bare for long.  I have wanted to bring good, relevant, helpful and thought-provoking content, but, through all of that,  it has brought on a lot of un-needed stress.  Maybe it shouldn't have, but it has.  Instead of it being fun for me, which is what it started out as being, it has become a burden.  I feel like other areas of my life have been left unattended.  It's amazing how a blog can have this effect on me.  Or, maybe I have allowed it to become what it has become.  Whatever the reason, it is what I have let it be, and I have to put it aside for awhile. 

I would never say that I have it harder than any other mom.  I know that many have it much "worse" off than I do.  But, I have three young children who need me and depend on me;  I have a home that I need to keep clean and orderly; I have a massive, daunting yard that needs enormous amounts of attention; I'm working two part-time jobs and have started back in on my Ebay business;  I have a husband who needs more of my undivided attention;  I have a special needs daughter who requires more from me than I can sometimes give her. There are all the trips back and forth to school, the play dates, the potty-training, the diapering, the disciplining, the cooking, the baking, the training, the playing, the cleaning, the comforting, the, the, the...........Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job in the world, and even though I love it, it can be a struggle.


It was becoming an even bigger struggle as my focus was being taken over by this blog.

I question the timing of this decision, because I now have this new home for my blog, new followers, etc, but I have to rely on the promise that God's timing is perfect.  He put this on my heart for a reason and I can't pretend like it's not real.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. 

Ecclesiastes 3:  1-8
Hopefully there will be a time when I come back to this blog, to continue on this amazing journey of sharing, learning, growing and cataloging life events.  But, until then, I must take some time off.  How long?  I don't know..............only God does.

Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him.” 

Lamentations 3:  22-24

Thank you for taking this journey with me and I hope and pray, that, someday, I will see you back here, again.  But, until then, keep on living life fully, frugally and faithfully.

God Bless~~~

Sarah


4 comments:

  1. Girl, I am so right there with you. I started a frugal living/money saving blog 9 mo ago. My sentiments exactly. Seriously you wrote what I would say. I have to walk away but have felt burned out the last 2-3 weeks. My posting has been rather light due to my daughter's b-day but once that was over I am still not back in the game.

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  2. Sarah,
    I think you are making a wise decision here. I know you enjoyed the blog, and others have enjoyed reading it and will miss it, but you're right...God is shifting your priorities a wee bit. He will reward your obedience in ways you cannot imagine!
    Love you,
    Aim

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  3. I came here from "Works for Me Wednesday" but saw this post first. I think you've made a very wise decision. The great thing about it is that you can leave the blog up and just not add to it for however long it is until you feel called to post something again.

    I was determined not to have a blog because I knew what it would do to me: the pressure to write every day, the possibility of flamewars in the comments, etc. Eventually I was convinced that using blog software would make it easier to add articles to my site, but that's how I think of it: I can work on my articles from any computer, and when I finish one I click "publish", but I don't have to write at any particular frequency.

    In order to be calm about it, though, you have to let go of worry about how many readers you have and whether they might be disappointed if you don't write much. I struggle with this sometimes. But I think of what Mister Rogers said about reaching out to just one child, and I think of how effective his programs are years after he died, and I figure that if each of my articles someday is read by ONE person to whom it makes a difference, then I've accomplished something.

    I wish you peace and joy in your life away from the screen!

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  4. Oh, ladies!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Each of your comments brought tears to my eyes.....this blog has been a love/hate relationship and I just need to be away to get a clear, precise perspective on what this blog is and why I'm doing it. It was consuming my thoughts (because I let it!!) and God was telling me to let it go.

    I so appreciate you all leaving comments....it truly touched me. Thank you!

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